Bullying
Credit: https://www.education.vic.gov.au/about/programs/bullystoppers/Pages/what.aspx
How Someone Becomes Bully
Sometimes other people upset us by accident. They might bump into us or they say something that hurts us, but they’re not setting out to make us unhappy. But with a bully it’s different: a bully wants us to feel miserable. You might be happily doing something on your own and a bully comes up and says something horrible, just to make you feel bad. In this section we are only going to be talking about bullies who say mean things. There is another kind of bully who can be physically threatening. Physical danger is something you have to talk to a grown-up about — as is the worst kind of verbal danger too.
Let’s ask a difficult question: why does the bully say mean things? Why do they want to upset other people?
The answer is surprising: the bully is frightened. This can be hard to believe, because a bullying person doesn’t look scared or frightened. Sometimes they look as if they aren’t scared of anything. In fact, they are scared of something quite specific: they are mean to others because they are scared that someone will be mean to them.
The bully is attacking someone else with the thing they are afraid of being bullied for themselves — maybe not by anyone at school, but by someone important in their life: a parent or an older brother or sister, maybe. You can’t see the other parts of the bully’s life. Sadly, they have probably been humiliated and harshly criticised for exactly the same kind of things they are mean to others about. The bully is being really horrible. But it’s sad for them.
Someone becomes a bully because they have been bullied. They responded to it by thinking, ‘If I become a bully I won’t be bullied.’ If you have ever felt tempted to bully someone — and nearly everyone has at some point — try to remember how you felt at the time. Why did you want to be mean to that person? What was it about them? In what way might you once have been like them? Who wasn’t very nice to you?
What kind of bully is the text referring to?
Verbal bully - the bully says mean things.
What is the bully attacking?
They are attacking someone else with the thing they are afraid of being bullied for themselves.
Why is it sad for them?
They have been humiliated and harshly criticised for exactly the same kind of things they are mean to others about.
What is the main reason someone becomes a bully?
Because they have been bullied before.
